Running Up That Hill
by Ophelia Elric
Summary: All Helena wanted to do was get over this stupid cold, not deal with stupid English men. It was all her jerk of a cat's fault anyway. SI!FEM!Dio


**Summary:** All Helena wanted to do was get over this stupid cold, not deal with stupid English men. It was all her j of a cat's fault anyway. SI!FEM!Dio

* * *

I let out a loud sigh as I refreshed Tumblr for the sixteenth time in, I glanced at the clock hanging above the TV currently showing a muted soap opera, 10:34, about five minutes from the last time I checked. At the time I was being 'quarantined' in the living-room, laying on the sofa, away from the room I shared with my sister, in an effort to keep her from getting sick also.

"Ugh, being sick sucks ass! There's nothing to do and I feel like crap. Doesn't help that everyone's either at work or school. I knew I shouldn't have believed Iris when she said she wasn't sick." I groaned, feeling my nose once more begin to drip while still feeling completely clogged, tossing my phone on the small space of cushion at my feet, reaching for the box of tissues that my Mom had placed on the coffee table along with an assortment of cough drops, cough syrup, the remotes for the TV and Blu-Ray, two pitchers of water along with my favorite Batman cup that I've had since I was four, the pill bottle of antibiotics from my doctor, some of my sisters and mine collection of manga, Tylenol, the chargers for both my phone and laptop, some old Cosmopolitan magazines, even a handwritten schedule for when to take the cough syrup, Tylenol, and antibiotics. Oh, and the biggest freaking bottle of hand sanitizer in the world.

'Huh, I guess Mom really thought of everything. I'll thank her when she gets back.' I thought dropping the used tissues in a plastic bag Mom had placed beside the sofa. I had still been asleep when she left for work, though Anna woke me up before she left for school.

'Oh, and I'll make her those snickerdoodle pancakes she loves so much when I'm better.' Was my last thought before I fell asleep.

* * *

*DING-DONG*

I jolted awake, disoriented, and confused about what had woke me up. I quickly checked my phone for any missed calls or messages, two missed texts. Nothing overly important, just a reminder from my Mom to take my antibiotics and be drinking lots of water, and one from my sister asking me text her if her order got here before she got home. I also checked the time, 2:17. Still a few hours before either of my family members were supposed to be home.

*DING-DONG*

'It's probably that anime series Anna ordered, Jo-something.' I thought getting out of the cocoon of blankets I had made for myself, walking to the front door and grabbing my keys from the edge of the coffee table, remembering Anna asking me before she left for school to bring it inside and check it over for her. I vaguely remember seeing one episode with her online, but just couldn't get into it. At least Anna liked it enough to order it.

*DING-DONG*

"I'm coming! Just give me a sec!" I hoarsely shouted, as I fumbled with the keys, dropping them twice, sleep and being sick making my hands clumsy and shake.

Finally grabbing the correct key, I quickly shoved it in the deadbolt, not bothering to check to see who was actually at the door.

"Hi! Delivery for 'Anna Argyris'." Was said with a way-to-bright smile, from a guy wearing a UPS uniform.

"Uh, yeah, thanks. Do I have to sign anything?" I asked, squinting my eyes from the sun light shining directly in my face. 'It's either _way_ too bright or I just haven't seen the sun in too freaking long. Both is good, I think.'

"Oh no, ma'am. Just have a great day!" Once again said with a mega-watt smile, while handing me a decently sized box.

"Um, thanks? You too, I guess?" I asked, still mildly disoriented from waking up so suddenly, to his quickly retreating form walking back to the delivery truck. Closing the door and remembering to lock it, I made my way to the kitchen to grab a box cutter from the 'everything-goes-in-it' drawer, package awkwardly tucked underneath my arm.

After a few minutes of shifting around, I finally found the ever elusive box cutter. Grabbing it, I walked back to the living-room to open it and send a quick text to my sister to let her know it got here and that I was about to open it and check over it like she asked.

Or I would have, if one of our cats hadn't decided to dart between my legs.

Now any other time this wouldn't have fazed me, except maybe letting out a few words that would make my Mom yell at me for saying, but I was wobbly and dizzy from being sick and slightly off balance from still holding the box under my arm. So this time it did faze me.

I let out a shout as our calico Jackie darted between my legs, dropping Anna's package and the box cutter, throwing out my hands to try and catch myself.

And I did.

Just not with my hands.

I didn't even have time to feel pain when my temple hit the corner of the coffee table _just_ so.

It was actually pretty okay as far as deaths go, once you get over the fact that you're dead of course. No time to feel pain really just means no time to think about the people you're leaving behind or start to have regrets for whatever you have or haven't done in your life.

I probably would have been _'okay'_ if that had been _'the end'_ for my book.

But it wasn't, so I was never _'okay'_ ever again.

* * *

 **AN:** Okay so I recently got into this series and decided to make this since I'm a sucker for self inserts and genderswaps. Hope you liked it! - Lia

 **DISCLAIMER FOR ENTIRE STORY, OPHELIA ELRIC DOES NOT OWN JOJO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE**


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